Piece I'm currently trying to focus on for revision as I find myself terribly stuck with TGTD (Sequel to The Betrayer's Promise) at 82,755 words.
"Stone"
On the seventh day of the same clothes,
I tell her to get up and pull her body from the cushion
the specters of "HaMakom Yenachem..."
pulling at her hair in silver chains as she stands.
In the washroom, I undress her,
her body weak and vacant
too frail and heavy to do it herself.
I tip her head back beneath the water
wash the scent of tears from her hair
praying that the salt of them will dislodge the ghosts that grip the strands
trapping the fresh and warming smell of child
and threaten to pull her soul down the drain with them.
With hyssop and rose I cleanse her skin
she begs in a whisper for me to use the pumice.
I cannot deny her
I am too gentle and suddenly she is full of energy
seizes the stone from me
scrubs until the water runs red
and the specters are gone.
I dress her-- she sucks air in her teeth
the starched shirt too stiff on her new skin, and we
step into the light of the day and squint,
our shutter sensitive eyes pounding.
We stand before the dried mound of earth
she shoves her raw hand in a pocket
fingers a small stone, bringing it to the light.
“This is the place,” she says and places the stone.
It is the only one.
----
It's very rough, only having been through one edit so far.
I find myself struggling not only with the above in technical terms but TGTD in content terms. I don't think I can quite articulate my frustration at this point. My characters are being very difficult and I find myself being quite distracted by my own life events and they seem to be seeping into TGTD. It's annoying.
My other projects have found some attention since this stall, including one that will be quite difficult but interesting. It will be a collaboration, and more challenging, one that will cross two standards, American and Australian. How will we negotiate that? Somehow I don't think it will be a problem. The honesty of the piece, now that's another question.
The hardest hurdle in any piece is being honest enough. What do I mean?
Too often we sugar coat things, we dance around meaning, talk around it, soften it's edges, and really, not only is that an insult to the reader but a detriment to the piece itself.
Why do we do this? Perhaps fear and anxiety. It's difficult to take things and put them into that harsh light of realism in part because a writer is just as much of a person as the next. In the back of our minds is the look our mother would give us when she read a piece, it's not exactly pleasant. Solution? Push past it.
Or have a crass mother like mine, that works just as well.
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5 comments:
alicia! your page is PURPLE!!
and i like the way you write, it's very nice!
I live in a purple world, for real. Haha
Hey, this is damina from devArt. Just thought I'd let you know I'd be watching this blog as well. :)
but ali. what is "being honest"? is it to 'express the poem's meaning in its fullest potential'? there is no such thing. even if we could locate the 'original intent' we have for the pem in our brain (which we can't) and then compare it with the 'final result', ie the poem itself, we would find that our language is the filter through which we can bring something out here, so conditioned by so many things.
that dance around meaning isn't an insult to the reader because the reader doesn't (or shouldn't) read a poem in search for the 'poet's honesty'--at best, they should read poetry in search of something they can fit in with themselves. and a detriment to the piece itself... i don't think the poem cares, tbh.
miguel
Miguel, you have a good point, I don't think a reader should search for a writer's intent, but I think the writer should have one that is clear, at least to themselves. I think many young writers make the mistake of being intentionally soft or vague in their approach of subject and not only does it muddle a piece, it makes it boring and unmemorable.
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